Sticks and Rocks

Ever since  I was old enough to need to shop for Christmas gifts, I have shopped Black Friday with my Dad and sisters. Some years it’s just me and one other person. Other years all four of us get up early, grab coffee, and hit a couple of stores. Sometimes we don’t buy very much. When the kids were very small, and into actual toys, it made Christmas a bit cheaper.

So last night I decided to hit the Toys R Us sale at midnight. Then I was going to go to Kohl’s at 4am and Walmart at 5am. Before the sale papers came to my door yesterday morning, the kids’ lists were short and almost complete. Then I started looking through the ads and feeling that frenzy to make sure my kids had the best holiday possible by buying them lots and lots of stuff.

I admit it, I let the feeling get to me this time of year. Christmas is one of the special times I remember growing up. We had such a great time that I get depressed when I can’t be with my family at Christmas. I want my kids to have that same thought when they are grown. So, I hesitate not to buy something they want or I wonder if we have enough for them each year…even when the space under the tree is piled high and stockings are so heavy they can’t be hung.  THEY NEED MORE STUFF so they’ll love Christmas as much as I do!!!

Then I look back at my childhood Christmas memories. We got stuff, don’t get me wrong, but we got a few things and a stocking. I remember a few of my favorite things, but not the bulk of the list over the years. What I remember is that we always got a family game as a gift and my parents would let us open it on Christmas Eve after church. We’d play a round while we sipped eggnog that my mom made and nibbled cookies that we had helped decorate. Then we’d set out something for Santa and head to one of my sisters’ bedrooms to camp out on the floor together and wait for morning. (This was such an important tradition for my youngest sister that she made Todd do it the first year he was with us!).

The next morning, after gifts, we’d eat a huge breakfast with my mom’s cream cheese bread hot out of the oven, get dressed and visit both sets of grandparents before the day was over. December 25th is my birthday, so I’d have at least two cakes and two or three rounds of “Happy Birthday to You” before I went to sleep. Revelation…MY MEMORIES DON’T REALLY INVOLVE GETTING STUFF!!! (I know, they involve food…that’s another blog post entirely!)

So, back to last night…I actually did drive to Toys R Us. (1 hr to get there and get into the parking lot). I walked up to the line (which only had about 200 people when I got there, but was stretched around the building within 15 minutes). I stood in line for 20 minutes or so and all those memories from my younger days started running through my mind. I realized that the ONE toy I was in line for was for my youngest…who didn’t even ask for it…who doesn’t care whether he gets a new train set, but would rather I just sit down and play trains with him and the old set. I realized that the reason I wanted to be there was to be with my family…but I was alone.

Then I started thinking about my recent blog posts about the “gimmes” and my kids’ consumer mentality. I looked around and found myself in the midst of the very thing I want to eradicate in their lives. I was suddenly embarrassed to be there…so I left. I just left and drove home. The further I got away, the better I felt. I climbed into bed and slept soundly and there wasn’t a package hidden away anywhere in house! There were no impulse, guilty purchases or toys and junk grabbed because there was a limited number available.

This morning, I ordered a slightly less fancy, slightly more expensive train set for Brice online. He’ll be thrilled. The kids will have plenty of Christmas. After all, they are lucky enough to have generous grandparents and aunts and uncles. But I’ll make sure that our December is about giving and sharing and playing. So, I’m back to my theory of giving sticks and rocks this year. If Santa brought sticks and rocks I bet they’d play with them…and I bet they’d always remember that Christmas!

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Giving Thanks, Part 2

So, my family members are all aware of all the things and loved ones we HAVE in our lives. Gratitude is good. Gratitude for the little things that don’t cost money is even better. We all seem to have that covered at different levels and we are working on getting better at recognizing how blessed we really are at this moment.

Moving on…how can we help others who need it? How can we put aside our own desires, even our own needs, to help friends, family, even strangers who need us?

That was our challenge today and it was a hard challenge. First responses by both of the big kids was to donate money to charity. When pushed on where that money would come from both thought it would come from Mom & Dad. Neither was really willing to give up their own allowance for this. So the challenge then became something  they could do for others that didn’t require money. That was a hard one too. Here are some of their ideas:

Have a lemonade stand and give the money to charity. (Mom: “Where do you get money to buy supplies?” Kid: “You?”)

Give away my socks. (Mom:“What would you wear?” Kid:”You could buy me more socks.”)

We finally got around to volunteering. Embree offered to rake a neighbor’s leaves and Reeves offered to clean her cat boxes.

I don’t know if I need to work on my kids or on myself. I am shocked at how little they could think of that actually required a sacrifice on their part. Have I been that poor a model? I thought I was generous and compassionate. Maybe I’m not enough of those things. Maybe I need to make a concerted effort to exhibit those qualities in a more overt way to the kids.

I think we will spend December concentrating on giving. Each day we will give a gift; tangible or intangible. I will not walk by a Salvation Army kettle without dropping something in, even if I’ve denied the kids their favorite treat because it’s too close to Christmas or too far from pay day. I will look for ways to help and ask them to join in. Some days may be difficult. Some days WILL be difficult, but something as small as helping a sibling clean up or waiting for the mail carrier just to say thanks will do.

I’ll report our progress. It should be interesting!

‘til then…

Giving Thanks

This week we are trying to focus on the parts of our lives for which we are thankful instead of the myth of happy Pilgrims and Native Americans embracing in a big group hug. Don't get me wrong. I love Thanksgiving. As a matter of fact, when we take out the misconceptions and stereotypes and focus on actually giving thanks for what we have, then it's the happiest, most relaxed, most meaningful holiday for me.

For example, we had a huge Thanksgiving potluck at our homeschool co-op on Friday. It was the biggest, yummiest spread of brown food one could ever hope for on Thanksgiving. Most importantly we all (20+) sat around one large table and just enjoyed each other's company. There was no anticipation of presents to open as on Chirstmas, no trick or treating, no Easter baskets...no gimme, gimme feelings. Then each kid got up and gave a brief presentation for Kentucky History. That's it! It was relaxed and fun and lovely. I found myself looking around thinking how lucky my family is to be a part of this extended family group. So many friends and so much love there.

Tomorrow and Monday I get to spend time with all the kids and adults in THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER. That's another group that makes me recall just how lucky we are to have so many friends and so many opportunities in our lives. Watching kids (and adults) blossom on stage, listening to excited actors explain their creative ideas, being able to step back and allow a cast to take the reigns of their show that last week...that's special and makes the time it takes worthwhile.

Of course, there are our moms and dads, brothers and sisters, aunt, uncles, grandparents, cousins, in-laws, birth parents, friends, pets, and complete strangers who smile as they walk by who fill our lives with love. We don't get to spend enough time with them, but they are always in our hearts.

We have a home, food, shelter...even decent health care...and the occasional splurge on eating out or new toys. We have so much and want for nothing.

Today we are thankful for all we have...tomorrow we move on to what we have that we can give to make others' live better.

Jeannie: I am thankful for my three beautiful children, even when they are loud and dirty and picking on one another!

Todd: My Wife

Embree: My family because they care for me.

Reeves: I am thankful for my cousins and wish I got to see them more often.

Brice: He is thankful for "Juice"

Happy Thanksgiving!

On the farm with the Embrees

We visited our friends, Josh, Lovell, Peyton, and Jared Embree in Schwenksville, PA the first weekend in November. We visited with a friend of their's on a working farm. We fed horses, gathered eggs, fed the cows, and went on a real hayride...real wagon pulled by a tractor with actual hay! It was a beautiful fall day and a wonderful way to spend time with people we love.

Fun in the park

Theresa and Josh joined us for an afternoon in the park...a beautiful afternoon.

Pumpkin Study

For our Autumn Nature Study series, we studied pumpkins. We went to the pumpkin patch and picked our own, then brought them home to study. We examined the outside, thumped them, weighed them, sketched them, then cut them open.

We examined how the seeds were attached to the flesh by the gooey, stringy matter inside...sort of like an umbilical cord! Embree was not impressed!

We examined and drew the seeds



Brice was determined to put the pumpkin back together!!

Then Reeves was in charge of roasting the seeds...one of his favorite snacks.

Embree was tasked with roasting the flesh...

Finally, we used the roasted pumpkin to make cookies. A fun day!