A brief self-indulgence...

We are home again after an unplanned trip to Tennessee to join my family in a hospital vigil for my mom. Luckily, we got what can be considered really good news, if not ideal. What we all feared did not come to pass and for that we are all thankful. The kids and I spent a couple of extra days there, along with my aunt, to make sure there were no complications and to keep Mom company in her 24hrs of bed rest. With three kids, it’s difficult to be of significant help, but the kids played games and watched movies on the bed with her and we were able to take her to a doctor’s appointment, so I guess just being there may have helped the time pass if nothing else. Once we were able to exhale with the good news, it was nice to see all of my family and just sit and talk in the waiting room. No meals to prepare, no place to be, just a chance to talk and laugh and catch up.

Driving to see Mom last week, I thought a lot about my life and if I am living it in such a way that I would be at peace if the last time I saw or spoke to a loved one was the last time. I mean to live in this manner. I don’t always succeed and I know it is cliché to think of it in response to the possibility of losing a loved one, but so be it. It’s time.

So I am going back to my word of the year, ENOUGH. We never get enough time with the people we love, but can we spend that time so that if something unexpected happens then that time is enough to sustain us and keep that person alive in our hearts?

I long to make everyday special with my children I don’t mean by giving them more things or by making each of our schools days super exciting, but by making sure that if that was the last day I got to spend with them that they’d know that I loved them and knew them and was happy being their mom. The same goes for my husband (who probably gets the least of my attention), my parents, my sisters, my in-laws, my extended family, and my friends. Would they know?

I am lucky enough to know and for me, for today, that’s enough.